Becoming a Parent for the first time
Hello, mommies. You recently had a baby, or are due really soon. Maybe you’re searching for advice on being a new mom. You may think you have everything prepared, but I will tell you your whole world is about to change. Not in a bad way, just very different than before. Everything is new and unknown and can be quite overwhelming.
Your hormones are on overload and you haven’t slept in days. It’s hard to know what to do. Know right now, there is NO perfect parent. Everyone stumbles. Then they figure it out. You have to learn by doing and seeing what works. This is a building process. Both mommy and baby are trying to figure it all out. Be patient with yourself, you can only do so much. Try not to be too hard on yourself. If you feel tired, sad, and angry or want to cry, it’s ok. If you made a mistake, that’s ok too. We all do. Today is just one day, tomorrow is another.
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To help you on those hard days here is some practical advice for new moms.
I’m going to be real here. Being a new mom is not easy, but it’s magical. Nothing you have experienced before will prepare you for motherhood. The saying “you may not like it, but you will love it” now makes sense. It’s a wonderful new world that you have entered. You will be overwhelmed by the immense amount of love you can feel for one tiny person.
When my cousin was pregnant my mother gave her a book of advice for new moms. It was Meditation for New Mothers. Then when I was pregnant with my first she gave that same book to me. It was great to read while pregnant and even once the baby came. It was so comforting to be able to know that how I was feeling was not out of the ordinary. For my sister in law, we made our own book for her. She now has all her family’s advice together in a book.
Use these cards for your baby shower or for someone else’s. Make your own book you will treasure. Click below to get yours today.
You inevitably will get advice and comments from everyone you see. Something that bothered me was that other people felt that my body or baby becomes public property. Why is that? It’s still my belly and my baby. Why do people feel that you’re allowed to touch? Would you ever go up to a non-pregnant woman and touch her stomach, no cause it’s crazy. Be prepared for those crazy actions and crazy comments. Know it’s completely ok to tell people you don’t want them to touch your baby. Don’t worry about hurting someone’s feelings or upsetting them. It’s your baby.
So you don’t have to repeat yourself use these cards. Here you can print out a sign to attach to the car seat to make sure people keep their hands to themselves. You get 3 different patterns. Print on cardstock to make sturdy.
Some advice that you will not see here is “sleep when the baby is sleeping.” I don’t really like this piece of advice. I guarantee that if you haven’t heard this already you will soon. It seems that’s everyone’s little tidbit. This is well intended but doesn’t really pan out well. When your baby sleeps you go pee, jump in the shower or have a hot meal.
You will not break the baby. Remember to support babies head and neck and all will be ok. I know babies seem fragile, but they are resilient. You and your baby will get through the difficult times together and be ready for the next thing that tests your limits.
Many people talk about getting your hospital bag ready and what to pack, but I don’t think it’s that big a deal. I would recommend preparing your house a bit for when you come home. Set up a diaper station (this one has sections and folds up) by the couch and maybe in your bedroom. You want to make it easy on yourself and not have to go to your room or the babies room every time they need a new diaper. Have a small bin next to the couch with a few diapers, wipes, a burp cloth, and a pacifier. You can even include a water bottle to help make sure you’re drinking regularly. I had 2 c-sections and doing this was extremely helpful.
Ask For Help
You don’t have to do everything yourself. Ask for help. Even if you have to remind yourself to do so. This will help you feel better. One of the best things family did for me was to bring over some food. It sounds silly but you forget to eat sometimes. When you want to eat you have nothing made. It was great having food that I could just heat up.
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Practical Advice for new moms
Something that’s important to know and that is many times overlooked is that babies need their own space just like we do. The world is new and completely overwhelming to newborns. It’s constant stimulation. Everything is new to your little one. They need time to process what’s going on around them. A few minutes in a swing or laying down on a blanket allows them a minute of solitude. Some babies will express that they need this more than others. Remember the way baby’s communicate is by crying. As months go by, babies will fuss more when they want to be left alone. This is the start of their independence and we as parents need to be aware of this.
The importance of playing alone grows after each birthday. It’s ok and important for children to learn to be alone.
Babies test our limits. It sometimes seems that all you hear are no’s in protest or crying against what you want. Babies and toddlers are seeing their limits and boundaries. They are trying to be more independent and learn their place in the world. This can make them (and us) a little anxious. So just when they were infants and you learned they need their own space, the same is true for now. Allow your children time and room to explore. This will benefit them as they grow.
Mothers have experience and the wisdom that comes from experience. To get solid advice ask another mother.
Complied for you is some truly great parenting advice from other moms that have been there. Even though I don’t have a baby right now, this advice had me shaking my head in agreement.
Nothing lasts forever
The best advice you can give someone having a baby is to remember – no matter what situation you are in – that THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
The hard things will pass. They WILL sleep better eventually. Your boobs WILL feel better. You WILL develop the ability to go out (and take the baby) without it feeling like an ordeal. These hard things will pass.
But so will the precious things. This baby will only be this small for such a short time. Soon, you will not get to hold them this much. They will stop making those sweet baby faces, and before you know it, they’ll be growing up.
So take lots of pictures, make time for snuggles, and cherish every second, even when it’s hard.
Carly the Mommy
Carly writes over at Mommy On Purpose
NOW I’M CARLY THE MOMMY. AND IT TURNS OUT MOMMY-ING IS MY VERY FAVORITE THING. I’m not remotely afraid of “losing myself” as a mom, and I want to embrace this messy mom life and make it count. And I want to help you do that too.
Don’t repeat yourself over and over. Print out these signs today. Choose from 3 different patterns. Print on cardstock to make sturdy.
Make decisions for you
Other people’s opinions don’t matter. Only you can decide what’s best for your child and your family.
Monica writes over at Redefining Mom
I live in Buffalo, NY with my husband and our two beautiful girls. In August 2016, I turned my blog into a business and started working for myself full-time! I teach mom entrepreneurs how to ditch their 9-5 careers and turn their professional skills and/or passions into an online business!
Goldie Hawn gives advice to her daughter on being a mother
Crying will happen
The best advice I can give someone having a baby is that you need to remember that babies cry.
What I mean is, there will be moments where your baby is crying and you aren’t quite sure what is wrong and you will feel a rush of emotions.
You will feel awful that you are doing something wrong (you’re not!), you will feel fear that your baby is unwell (most likely they are just fine) and you may even feel like a bad mom because you caused this (you probably didn’t, and if you did you will learn from it).
That’s the only way they can communicate. Of course, you don’t want them to cry, but sometimes they do. That does not make you any less of a good mom. You are the best mom for your baby.
Christina from Mom in the Six
Christina writes over at Mom in the Six
Launched in 2017 as a place new moms could gather tips and tricks, Mom in the Six is a quickly growing collection of baby & toddler activities, information for navigating motherhood and fun gift guides for moms and children.
My best advice would be to take things slow and give yourself grace. I remember when I had my first baby I had this self-imposed pressure that I need to be busy and getting things done since I was at home. I didn’t slow down enough and just snuggle my baby. I would get frustrated on the days when he only wanted to sleep in my arms. Now, I miss his snuggles and wish he would slow down and hold me more! With our second baby, I really tried to appreciate each state because time really does go by so fast. So if your baby is comfy in your arms give yourself that hour to just cuddle and binge watch a show. It is good for your baby and it is good for you!
McKenzie writes over at Moms Make Cents
I am a mama to the sweetest little three-year-old boy and newborn baby girl, wifey to my college sweetheart, a chocolate addict and country music lover. I started Moms Make Cents in June of 2016 to help teach moms how to build profitable blogs and businesses so they could have the freedom to stay home with their kiddos.
Start your own book of advice or make a book for a new mother. Use these cards for your next baby shower. Print your now after you click below.
I hope those words of wisdom help you in your new adventure.
Encouraging words for a new mom
“The other day I accidentally caught Lily’s skin in one of her nail clips. She screamed so loud I felt like a mother from hell.” Lee Durland
“Excuse me, what did you ask me? Did I ask you a question? I think so, but I can’t remember.” Moms talking to each other
“People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.” Leo Burke
“There was no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years, the dirt doesn’t get any worse.” Quentin Crisp
“He was teaching me something about flow, about choosing the right moment for everything, about enjoying the present.” Robyn Davidson
“We start out in our lives as little children, full of light and the clearest vision.” Brenda Ueland
“We are all in this together—by ourselves.” Lily Tomlin
“Motherhood brings as much joy as ever, but it still brings boredom, exhaustion, and sorrow too. Nothing else will ever make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his own individuality- especially while you struggle to keep your own.” Marguerite Kelly and Ella Parsons
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Comment below and share some advice that was helpful to you?
The best advice for new moms from women that have been there.